I know the situation well because my oldest daughter is like that. When she was little, she exploited the slightest situation that overwhelmed her and now that she is 10 years old, she controls her emotions better, but there are still situations that she does not know how to manage.
They are often confused with capricious children, but in reality they are extremely sensitive children. Everything affects them too much and as parents we must help them to manage their emotions as much as possible. Does your child explode for everything? We give you ten tips to empathize with him and help him .
Stand up and look him in the eye
The first thing you have to do is establish eye contact with your child . Duck, stand at your height and look him in the eye.
This simple action shows you that you open up to communication, that you put yourself at their level to help them. Try to detect what annoys or bothers you and solve it.
Validate your emotions
We often rush to scold or make judgments when what really matters is what the child feels. Empathize with your child , make nod gestures and put yourself in their place, let them know that you understand their problem, even though we may or may not agree with their vision.
Regardless of whether or not we validate your reaction, we always connect with your needs.
Over time I realized that many times my daughter’s frustrations were related to her parents being unpredictable at times. We changed the plans every minute generating insecurity in her.
Talk to your child about what they will do today, tomorrow or the weekend and try to keep it. And if there are changes, explain it in advance. Sometimes surprises can trigger emotional crises.
It is not always avoidable that they explode, it is even good that they do it and they will continue to do it, what becomes exhausting and negative is that they explode for any situation they do not know how to handle.
But since they are children who are looking for their own way and there will inevitably be situations in which your child will explode, provide an environment of emotional support . If he is small, try to get close and hold him, to contain him (although not all children are left, if that is the case, you have to respect him). If he is older and does not want to be beaten, show him that he can always come to you.
Agree with your child
In young children it usually works very well and is very linked to being predictable. Tell him, for example, “let’s go make the purchase and then go to the park” and finish the sentence with a “okay”, “okay?” so that it is clear that it is a kind of agreement.
“I understand that you really want to go to play at the park, we will do what you like but first we have to go buy dinner, otherwise we will arrive home and there will be no dinner”.
Well given explanations often avoid many tantrums, although children are still small there are things that can understand very well.
Breathe with your son
Breathing is a fantastic mechanism to reassure the child, and it can be done at any time.
When you see that your child has exploded or is about to explode, look for a secluded spot and help him breathe to calm him down. You can resort to what I call 5-2-6 . Inspired counted up to 5, I keep 2 and loose counting to 6. My daughters already have it internalized.
Find a distraction
A favorite song, counting to 10 or any other technique can work to distract you from the focus. That does not mean being distracted by what happens to you.
Any formula of distraction , as well as breathing serve to avoid the explosion of anger, the attack of crying or the tantrum, but once reassured the child it is important that you talk about the conflict and find a solution.
Let him take his time
When the child gets very upset, it may be good to leave him some time to calm down before talking about what makes him angry.
Empathize with him, validate his emotions, but talk about it later at home , calm. Hours later you can see it from another perspective.
Tickle or kissing attack
Not all children take it well, some even get enraged more, but there are cases where tickling or kissing attacks work.
It can be a good distraction technique. Of course, you have to know when to apply it.
Put in words the emotions
Once you have dodged the “moment of explosion”, which can be tantrum, tantrum, anger, crying attack, anxiety crisis, hair pulling or whatever form your child uses, the most important thing is to get a name those emotions that have made him react .
It is applicable to small or older children, always according to their age and with words they can understand. You start with the simplest feelings such as anger, sadness or happiness (beware that extreme overflows of happiness are also common in children who have trouble controlling emotions) and then you will add more complex emotions such as frustration, disappointment, etc.
The objective is to empathize with the child, be their support and help them to express and manage their emotions better . I hope these tips help you in general to all parents and especially to those who have excessively emotional children.
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